Somethings Can't Be Fixed
by thedarknes751
Summary: Shaw is dead, Tom is furious at himself for what he did. Sasha is shattered, broking so many times, AND hates Tom.will she finds peace again? something is shattered in both of them can they fix it? will they find each other again? "beta reader wanted" UPDATED CHAP 5
1. Chapter 1

**|#I own nothing, not the songs OR the show|**

 **I am sorry for all my m** **istakes I am trying to do the best I could. feel free to point them out if you like and I will fix them :)**

 **hope you guys enjoy this one like I did while writing it.**

* * *

Sasha with Kathleen trying to comfort her after her dad's death.

knock on Kat's cabin door, Mike come's in, horrified look on his face. calls Sasha for a moment to talk,

"Tom is leaving!"

"what? leaving what Mike?" in low confused voice.

"he just resigned from the navy. tomorrow will give him a final navy goodbye"

"I just thought you might have a better luck talking some sense into him and maybe convince him to stay."

"God, knows we need him"

Sasha couldn't breathe for a sconed. shook and overwhelmed with all what's been happening the bast 24hours and now this!

Kat is distressed with her father's death and the fact Tom hasn't come to see her made it impassable for Sasha to leave her side.

looking at Mike "don't leave her"

rushing through the halls of the ship headed for Tom's quarters not stopping for air reaching his room out of breath. bursting through the door.

Tom was sitting on his bed already gathered most of his stuff.

"Tom, what the hell are you doing?" you can't tell was it anger hurt, disappointment in her tone!

 _but it was all coming out in one phrase. an emotional battle rushing through her veins._

"you can't leave!..."

"I am done Sasha I can't do this anymore!" looking up at her with darkened eyes and broking soul "Tex is dead because of me." he stopped for a second looking in vain to keep himself out of his own thoughts "who is next to die, Sasha? huh, you? Mike? who Sasha tell me!" angry as hell looking at his hands were Tex's blood still on them.

"clean your hands, Tom! please!" looks at her then moves to the sink washing that blood wishing that he could wash the memory of what happened.

"Tom, don't do this to your self...not me nor Mike will die Tom don't..."

"I am done, Sasha" giving her a look that showed her how lost and broking he was. right at that moment, she hugged him tight. her hand's on his shoulders "it's okay, Tom, its okay..." he didn't move for a sconed he just sobbed on her shoulder.

puts his arms around her hugging with all his heart. he needed her. he needed her so bad and she didn't disappoint him SHE was right there where he needed her. with no more words floating in the air the only thing both could hear was each other's heartbeat. and they stayed that way for quite some time.

hiding his face in the crack of her neck her scent was pulling him closer and pulling back all the old memories. the ones he had been trying to avoid since the minute she walked back into his life. she could feel his hot breath on her neck it made her keen for more of him her fingertips traveling through his hair massaging his neck. he couldn't fight the need to touch her he starts kissing her neck upwards towards her cheek...pausing for a second to look deep into her sky kissed blue eyes placing a soft kiss on her lower lip with her hand on his neck she pulls him tighter deepening the kiss...the roles didn't matter to him in this moment all he want's is more of her he pikes her up and puts her on the bed...

* * *

 _{{Note: it will sink-in better if you play |already gone |by kelly clarkson| as a soundtrack.}}_

Sasha wakes up in his bed with nor him or any of his stuff...

 _she fears the worst and nothing but the worst she found._

|Tom left her|

|Tom left the navy|

puts on her clothes and runs onto the deck looking for him...

"he is gone, Sasha" Mike's voice field with sadness.

"NO, he can't do that not after..., not like this Mike he can't"

the idea of the man she loves leaving her like this shattered her heart. NOT HER TOM. not the noblest guy on this planet.

 _he would never do that not to her not to the women he loves._

she drowned in her thoughts doesn't want to believe that he actually left. goes back to her room furious at how stupid she was thinking after last night he would stay! stood in the medal of her room her eyes were drowning in her tears. shattered, heartbroken sad but mostly angry at her self and him...

* * *

{{NOTE: play |leona lewis| better in time| soundtrack |}}

3weeks later.

Mike is worried about her she is not eating not sleeping, working her ass off trying hard to distract her self-form her thoughts.

Mike asked Azima, Wolf, to keep an eye on her. to keep her company.

Sasha walks towards Wolf asking him to train with her. she asked him to throw some bunches teasing and laughing "STOP hitting like a girl, bring it on. come on, I can take it " it was fun Azima, Miler wore laughing. Wolf throws a right hook to her abdomen she fell down shouting out of the excruciating pain in her belly and holding her stomach wolf quickly took her to the doc.

Doc "what happen?"

Wolf "I didn't hit her hard, something is wrong doc"

Miler went to get the captain "something happened sir, "

Mike"what? " Sasha she..." "what happened to her talk!"

"she was training with Wolf and he hit her she is in medical sir"

Mike"what the hell Wolf I asked you to look out for her not to kill her "

Wolf "I sowar sir, I hit her harder than that before, I tell you something is wrong"

Mike "what did the Doc say?!"

Azima" nothing yet sir"

"no, no this can't be" after seeing blood between her thighs.

grabs the sonar "oh my God" pauses for a sconed "she needs surgery!"

"act quickly prep her for it"

goes out askes the captain for a word.

Doc, "she... ah, she is... was pregnant" "her body is weak she couldn't handle the blow and I know she wasn't eating, sleeping and Wolf's hit was the last straw for this pregnancy"

Mike"God, do you know how old?!"

Doc, "I'll say three weeks sir. she need's surgery I have to go back in there "

 _later that day nine hours after the surgery..._

opens her eyes to find Mike, sitting on the chair next to the bed Azima and wolf standing next to the door "what happened?".

Mike "hey take it easy, you're okay"

Wolf "I am so sorry Sasha"

"it's okay"

"I shouldn't have hit you"

"no Wolf it's what I asked for, but you still hit like a girl tho" tying to loosing up the mood. no one smiled she looked at Mike" "what is it, Mike? I am okay, really I am"

Wolf and Azima left the room, the Doc stood next to her holding her hand "Sasha Ahhh..."

"what is it, Doc? Mike what?" her heart sank looking at them not knowing what is wrong.

Mike" it's okay you will be alright, calm down"

Doc "you had...ahh a miscarriage. I am so sorry, there was nothing I could have done"

her eyes were frozen she was like if she was lost -in dark cold space with nothing but quietness- it was like if she was

-drowning in the ocean- but wasn't trying to survive.

Mike" Sasha you will be alright I promise"

Sasha" I am okay Mike, don't worry" not looking at him "I need some rest."

turned to the other side not wanting them to see her broken even more.

-crying without crying- her eyes were swimming pools all day all night on that bed not talking to anyone not eating.

once-again she is back at her routine of self-torturing.

 _three days later..._

Mike" Sasha, I ordered everyone to find Tom" Sasha turning to face him "NO! don't. why would you do that"

Mike"you need him..." cut's him off with an angry tone "NO I don't need him I never did not before and definitely not know, I can take care of my self, I always did and always will" adding "Mike please it's over, no need for him. you don't need to worry about me anymore I promise"

Mike"the Doc is worried about you, you're not eating..."

"not anymore, like I said I always take care of my self"

Mike sights when she turned around "okay, I'll do as you say"

and he leaves the room.

* * *

{{Note: the sky is crying| by Gray B. B. Coleman|{{I got a really bad feeling}} this one for Tom.}}

* * *

16month later...

They got back on the ship, not one single word or a look from her he knew she is mad at him for leaving her like that, he had no idea of what had happened the bast 16months and with all that was going on. the only person who could tell him all about it is in no condition to do so.

 _days have gone_...

he tried twice to talk to her and she didn't give him a chance to.

Mike is better Tom checking on him sitting in his room talking about nothing and everything.

Tom "Sasha..."

Mike cut's him off "that's between the two of you not going to say a word" Mike's reaction made Tom jump out of his skin.

"Mike what is it! is there more to it than me leaving"

"is she okay? is it about her and that brit?" Tom's thoughts were south and the hell has happened was way up north.

"Tom, talk to her. keep me out of this"

Tom couldn't sleep how could he after what Mike had told him.

 _two days later..._

"Bond" was gone with the seeds and once again Sasha in a hell hole this time she was eating her self for not shooting him in his back and secure the seeds.

Tom fiend's her in the wardroom with piles of papers exhaustion herself with guilt.

Tom walks in. NOT giving any consideration to his being.

"Sasha" she didn't answer or look at him.

sits front of her trying to hold her hand she didn't give him a chance pulls her hand and gets up to leave collecting her paper pile...

"Mike told me..."

"whatever it is that he told you, it was over long before it began"

"what! what are you two talking about?" confused and starting to lose his calm manner.

he grabbed her hand which made her angrier than she already is "don't touch me you bas... don't ever do that again" furious at him.

"Sasha hey calm down I am sorry" putting his arms in the air and moves away from the table giving her some spice.

"tell me what is it your hiding from me cause right now I know it's not just me leaving. please, just tell me"

"16months Tom 16months, you know how long period of time that is ?" walks away tears in her eyes remembering her -never got to see the sun baby- remembering all that she has been through ALONE. all her dreams of what if she got the chance to meet her/him! what's her life could have looked like if Tom never left her!

 _they always had the ability to read each other, they wore like an open book to each other._ that's _why she hugged him before he left and that's why he knew at this moment._

Tom knew right there her tone gave away everything he was shattered, demolished. he drags his feet back to Mike's room want's affirmation to his thoughts praying with all his heart it's not it.

walks in didn't even knock, Mike look's at his demolished friend not knowing what to say to him "please tell me, Mike, I beg of you"

Mike sighs and puts his hand on his friend shoulder "after you left she was broking. she didn't eat sleep, worked hard...and if she wasn't working she would be training working out like if she was facing mo-Ali the next day"

"one day she asked Wolf if he would train with her it was fun SHE kicked his ass and everyone was laughing... she teased him saying "you hit like a girl" a right hook landed on her abdomen and that was it"

Tom" that..." cut's him off "Doc, said that wolf was just the last straw it was far gone before that... and Wolf didn't hit her hard or intended to" "Tom I don't know how you..."

"thank you, Mike "

he left Mike's cabin headed towards Wolf's...

 **.**

 **TBC...**

 **A/N (I have finals and I will update as soon as I have time for it )**


	2. Chapter 2

Tom got out from Mike's room headed towards Wolf's he saw him in the hall with some sailors working on something he kept walking towards him in anger the minute Wolf saw him Tom stops and gets a grip on himself thinking "if there is anyone to be blamed for this it's you Tom, no one but you"...

Wolf walked towards apologizing knowing that Tom was coming for him and Tom's walk well let's just say it gave away his intentions.

Tom goes back to his cabin smashing everything, punching the walls, coursing, causing a scene really, everyone was wondering what was going on Mike come's to find half of the ship standing at Tom's cabin door

yells at them "everyone back to work, now" then he walks in to find Tom sitting on the floor his hands on his head he was wracked.

Mike"what are you doing? this isn't you!"

Tom" I lost my baby and the woman I love Mike what the hell do you want with me..."

"General orders, General orders"

* * *

Mike "sorry, Tom, gotta go" run's leaving his broking friend behind.

Mike "what have you got?"

Russ "two enemy ships on our tail captain"

Mike "dammit" "find us somewhere to hide fast, we can't fight them, the ship still damaged by the storm"

Sasha walks in "what's going on?"

Mike "enemy ships, two of them"

Sasha "Greeks ?" Mike "don't know yet"

Alisha "confirm it's the Greek ships sir"

Sasha "we got to fight. we got to get the seeds back!"

Mike "I know but we cant fight"

Sasha "Mike you can't let them go we might never find them again "

Mike "I know but they'll take us down the minute we slow down, our weapons are down, Sasha!"

Sasha "Mike you can't let them go?" in a desperate tone.

Mike "this time we have to" she bursts out of the bridge.

* * *

later that night a need for some fresh air made her go out on deck. Mike comes to talk to her.

"I am sorry for today, Mike"

"that's okay really, are you alright?"

Sasha "how can I be Mike! every time my feet finds a solid grounds it turns out to be a God, damn quicksands... I am tired I can't take this anymore"

Mike "I know, I know." put's his hand on her shoulder.

clears his throat "I told Tom everything! he figured it out on his own I just told him what happened!"

Sasha "I know!"

Mike "smashing his cabin? "

Sasha"yeah" "is he okay? I mean, he wasn't on the bridge! and haven't seen him since."

Mike "me neither, I should check on him... with all what's been going on I forget about him..."

Sasha "he is lucky to have you as his friend Mike, go I'm fine"

* * *

next morning... Sasha yet again working hard to find the seeds. sitting in the wardroom and the dozen cups on the table indicating she's been at this for quite some time.

Tom "I am so sorry, Sasha for everything I know sorry won't cut it. hell, there is nothing in this world would... if I knew I would have stayed or at least kept in touch"

Sasha "are you done, I have work to do!" adding "leave"

Tom "Sasha, I know how hard it must have been..."

shake her head in disbelief looks up at him "are you fucking kidding me right now! please, tell me that you are."

"I lost my baby Tom, MY BABY! and you are telling me that you know how hard it was? God... you bastard," in low, careless tone not giving a damn about his feelings "you have no idea what is it like losing a baby... I was stupid enough to care about a man like you, and that cust me my baby END of story Tom, you be damn sure that I will never let it happen again" holding his gaze "I will never have the pleasure of holding my baby and that's on you, now leave"

he could not hold back his tears falling on his checks "it was my baby two and the fact I wasn't there for both of you is killing me"

it shattered her heart seeing him like that.

Sasha "please, leave I don't need more agony"

Tom "I won't bother you again, I promise"

Sasha "thank you"

2weeks later...

After defeating the Greeks, going back to the US everyone was calm and relaxed they were having fun setting on deck playing some music trying to be normal again after all that they all have been through the bast few years.

Sasha sitting with Danny, Kara, Burke, Miler, Wolf the whole gang laughing and sharing some old days stories about there families and playing some silly games till they got to play!

TRUTH OR DARE...

* _it's never smart for anyone to play truth or dare it never ENDS well._ *

Kara "okay, Miller, truth or dare?"

Miller " I think I'll go with truth this time"

Kara "do you have a crush on someone on this ship?"

Miller "I'll take the dare, thank you very much" everyone is laughing.

Sasha "no you picked truth now answer"

Miller "no I'm not saying"

Sasha "you're such a puss"

Miller "not afraid of her more than her man so, and no it's not you Kara" rolling his eyes.

Sasha "Kara let's name the couples on the ship"

Miller "let's not please, please. I am not playing this I am leaving" stands up to leave.

Sasha "no stay will stop"

Kara "alright, sit your ass you"puss"

*spinning the bottle stops on Miller, Sasha -Miller to ask.

Miller "truth or dare?"

Sasha "truth please"

Miller -the dumbass Miller- "was captain Chandler your first love?"

Wolf "Jesus, you idiot" mumbling to himself putting his hand on his forehead.

Kara and Danny wore shook looking at each other.

Burke "are you stupid?" whispering in Miller's ear.

Miller "sorry Sasha... I was just curious. sorry, i..."

Sasha "no it's your right to ask whatever you want. and to answer your question, YES he is... yes he was."

the second he asked... her smile just popped up and her eyes had a beautiful spark in them just by remembering the good old days but soon comes back to reality with Miller apologizing.

they continued to play and share whatever there is to share. calling it the night Sasha was the first to leave she was exhausted.

after Sasha had left...

Burke "this night was so much needed but Miller my man per usual comes out with the stupidest thing to say."

Miller "don't remind me I don't know how am I going to spend the next two weeks on this ship"

laughter...

Wolf "she was nice to you tho"

Miller "thank God the captain wasn't here. God, what the hell is wrong with me?" hiding his face between his legs.

Kara "oh my God, she is your crush isn't she?"

Miller "girls creep me out, man. how the hell did you know that?"

Danny "me thinking there is a limit to your stupidity" laughing their hearts out and he will never gonna hear the end of this -crush on his captain's women - oh God, Miller!

Sasha, on the other hand, on her way to her cabin bumps into a sweaty, handsome captain Chandler.

Tom "hey, calling it the night?"

Sasha "yes, excuse me" tying to switch back to the angry Sasha.

Tom "goodnight"

Sasha "yeah"

Tom sights while watching her go.

Sasha "dammit, Miller didn't need a remainder"

"and you what was that answer -yes, he is- can you be clearer! shit, Kara won't let this slide under the rug" talking to her self.

back on deck...

Danny "alright I am done"

Burke "me two"

Kara "good night you guys" steal a kiss from Danny.

the boys on their way to their rooms Miller once again comes up with something he shouldn't even think of let alone to talk about.

Miller "you guys she said -he is- does that mean she still loves him?"

Danny "let me help you my friend it looks like you are not understanding where you are and where Sasha Cooper is!...you see that star over there way up there in the far, far away sky's you might have a better chance with it than with Sasha.. you hear me, buddy" teasing him.

Burke "hell you even have a better chance with Kara then Cooper "

Danny "he is right!"

laughing...

* * *

two days later...

Alicia "sir there is this yacht it looks like it's following us?

Mike "alright, let's see... helm increase to 20 knots"

helm "yes, sir, 20knots"

Alicia "sir they are increasing speed too"

Mike "helm hard left"

helm "yes sir"

Alicia "still on us sir,"

Mike "what the hell a yacht wants with us?... Alright will not do anything tell they contact us"

Johanna "finally they noticed us"

Travis "you should try the radio they might answer us"

Johanna "okay let see if this shit will come to an end"

"USS Nathan James, please respond"

"USS Nathan James, please respond"

Johanna "we are so close, Travis if they won't respond I won't look any further"

Travis "they will..." with a smile on his face, "we will end this I promise"

Johanna "I hope so"

"USS. Nathan James, I am on the luxury yacht few miles on your right" "we mean no harm, it's just me and my friend, hell if meant any harm we won't point our position and we are not stupid to chase a huge -army boat- with a yacht to harm you!"

Mike "huge army boat! Jesus! but she got a point! I'll respond and see what the hell is she want?"

Mike "this is the USS. Nathan James, a military destroyer Introduce your self."

"yes yes yes whatever. about time to notice us"

Mike "get me Cooper, God, knows what are we dealing with her"

Johanna "I am Anderson and my friend is a marine his name is Travis Harper you can google us... or whatever you guys need to do"

Travis "google us?" with a loud laugh.

Johanna "shut up I am nervous" smiling.

Travis "thought you didn't care"

Johanna "I don't but it's the navy.. just shut up"

 _ **TBC...**_

 **A/N "I have finals, I will update whenever I have time"**


	3. Chapter 3

|A/N #1| sorry guys I had finals and couldn't update sooner|

|A/N #2| once more I am sorry for all my mistakes it's not my mother language and I know it's not an excuse BUT I try to do my best|

* * *

"find out, who are they now?" Mike said to Alisha.

"Google us! what the Hell, is she on? " looking at Sasha while she smiled at him knowing that he is not enjoying this.

five minutes later...

"Dr. how can we help you? what do you want?"

"will first, stop moving we are running low on full and, there is a woman on your boat I need to talk to her!"

"boat! where the Hell, does she live? God,"

"we will slow down but, will not be stopping. like to share the women's name?"

"her name is Sasha...blue eyes, tall and, I really don't know much about her" stopping for a second then she asked him "do you know her?"

Mike and Tom, looking at Sasha wondering if she knew her. Sasha looks back at them answering their silent question "I don't know who she is! "shrugging her shoulders.

"are you sure? " Mike asked looking puzzled by all of this.

"yes, I am. let me talk to her I might..." Tom interrupts her which annoyed her "no if you are a target you expose yourself and everyone, else on this ship"

"what do I say to her?" Mike asked stopping any further argument knowing Sasha won't settle for Tom bossing her around.

"ask her what is she want with her?" Tom told him ignoring Sasha's look.

"Doc. what is it exactly, you want with her?"

"it's personal sir, I don't think she'll appreciate broadcasting this...please sir I have searched for here since the pandemic hit. Sir, I really, really need to talk to her"

it becomes silent on the bridge, then Sasha broke the silence "I'll talk to her" looking at Tom to back off.

"this is Sasha Cooper"

"Cooper?! what... the Hell,?" looking at Travis "ask here if it's her married name?"

"Ma'am, is this your married name?"

uncomfortable look on Sasha's face "yes it is, what do you want?" "what is your last name Ma'am? before marriage!"

"this is ridiculous, I'll end this..." Mike is losing his patience.

"wait, Mike!" Sasha stopped him wanting to know where is this going.

Tom looking at Sasha knowing that she's "onto" something.

Sasha becomes nervous and swished to the headphones so no one else can hear what is it that the Doc. want's!

"it's Anderson. now, tell me what do you want? " Sasha answering in a firm tone.

"isn't she supposed to be a Naval Intelligence officer? " in a sarcastic tone.

"play nice, Jo."

"your father left you something. he made me promise that I'll find you and give it to you...'now lets cut the crap' come and get it. I am losing my patience here" it's not about her being rude, she is just tired of all this she had looked for Sasha for four years and it drained her.

"Jo stop. be nice! " knowing she is losing it.

"to Hell, with been nice, have been looking for her four years I want this to be over!"

"God, it's the 'taxi drive' Jo, hang in there" Travis trying to help her relax.

"I don't want it. you can throw it into the sea" Sasha got mad in an instant. she throws the headphones and left the bridge.

"great, all those years and she doesn't want this shit. fucking hate both of them" Johanna hitting a brick wall with all this and cursing her self for promising Sasha's dad to find her.

"it's okay, Jo, you kept your promise" trying to keep her calm.

" Sasha, what is it? " Mike puzzled off of what just happened and why Sasha, is so God, damn mad!

Tom picked up the Headphones and asked the Doc. what did she tell her?

"I said that her father, MY father! left her something with me, and by the look of it she doesn't want it... she asked me to throw it into the sea, so, should I?"

"No, we'll send a team to get it"

"good" Johanna relieved that she's finally kept her promise. "we give them the box and hopefully we return the yacht before he finds us,"

5 minutes later...

" Jo, they are here!" terrified Travis pointing at 2 boats approaching them.

"shit, shit" "Nathan James, we might need your help" Johanna knew that they are in deep trouble.

"Sir, two fast boats approaching the yacht" a sailor tilling the captain.

"who are they?" asking Johanna.

"will it's hard to explain, they may own the yacht and we borrowed it "

"you mean stole it!..." Mike connecting with the team that he send to get the package. "alright, cobra team help them out and try not to kill anyone, "

"copy that sir"

on the yacht...

"where is the package," Danny asked them the minute he is on the yacht.

"you got to help us" fear is obvious in her voice. "package now!" she handed him a mid-size old vintage box.

"Okay, gentlemen, what is going on?" looking at the punch of huge men who just boarded the yacht.

angry European man yelling at them "who are you?"

"we are the U. " Danny answering the man's question in a proud tone, not lowering his handgun.

"and what is it that the U. wants with me!" crossing his arms front of his chest.

"nothing, you are the one how boarded the yacht uninvited!"

"bad mistake Danny!" Johanna murmuring to Travis who was holding his gun that Wolf handed back to him.

the man went nuts "are telling me that I NEED a permission to board my yacht?"

"no sir you don't... "Danny looking at Jo and Travis with a disappointed look and he was right they should have told him who the man was or at least told him he owns the yacht.

"then get the hell off my yacht and you two I know what to do with you. off my yacht now " loud as thunder.

"he means that he'll kill us maybe feed us to the sharks" telling Danny and the rest of the Cobra team.

Danny "captain, I can't leave them behind he'll kill them! sir,"

"Dammit, do what you have to do, over"

"Alright, Doc. looks like my captain needs you to help us with something"

"sure blessed to help" Johanna, playing along holding her breath while moving to get off the yacht.

"where the hell do you think you're going? " the angry man stepping front of her and Travis moves in close to her still pointing his gun at the man.

"Sir, we don't want any trouble so, let's calm down, you and your buddies here might think twice before..." Danny points at the ship "it is very big and what a shame to sink such a beauty like this"

the man backs off and lets them go "you will be sorry Doc." with a closed-lip smile, filled with evil.

"he is an ugly human being and the only thing likable about him is his accent" Johanna relieved that she and her friend got out of his grip *at least for now*. "you should have asked him out then! " Travis laughing and barely believing that they made it out, 'alive'.

"no, thank you I already have you!" smiling and leaning her head on his shoulder. "you keep this up and I'll take you to my bed" in a playful tone." keep dreaming handsome" squeezing his cheeks. "don't" shaking his head out of her grip.

"settle down you two we just saved your ass and you are flirting, unbelievable" shaking his head in shock of their behavior.

"who's flirting? us? " Johanna's laughing at his comment "honey me&him are not together! 'just friends' "

"I don't care now, shut up" Danny is getting little Impatient.

"wow, to Hell, with 'the first impressions' " Johanna looking at Travis with an amused look.

on the James...

"I am the captain of this SHIP" In stressed letters "welcome aboard let me know if you need anything" Mike greeting them. "Green, lock them up till we find out what is in that box."

" yes, sir" Danny takes them to their room's and puts a couple of guards at their doors.

meanwhile...

"Sasha, are you okay?" Tom knocks on her door but he didn't wait for her to answer he walked in right away.

"if God, hates me this much why am I not dead yet? what is it that I did cost me this horrible life I am living since I was a child" exhaling heavily.

"don't say that Sasha... that's not true" Tom's heart twisted after hearing her words.

"yeah, alright let's see" in a challenging tone. "at the age of 4 my dad abandoned me, the age of 13 my mom married another guy how hated me, at the age of 23 I broke up with my first true love, at 35 I lost my husband, mom, and apparently my father, at 36 when I thought I am getting somewhere, with my true love again he... well, you were there. and after that ANOTHER piece of shit guy betrayed me... so Tom, tell me am I lucky? cause right now I don't want to live this life anymore. " broking, sad and hurt sitting on her bed hiding her face with her hands.

Sasha reached her breaking point it's too much for anyone, even the mighty Sasha Copper couldn't take it. Tom, didn't know what to say to her it broke his heart to see her broken like that.

"you never told me about your dad? " all he could say at that moment.

"is that the only thing you heard? " shaking her head in disbelief "he left so why bother keeping him in my life 'he isn't worth it' "

"your sister had nothing to do with what your dad did..." Tom tries to help her to look at 'the full half of the glass' kneeling front of her "this is might be your chance of having a family Sasha."

he was right Sasha lost every member of her family and yet there is this girl who happened to be her half-sister and in a way, that girl needs Sasha as much as Sasha needs her. they both in a desperate need of a family 'to belong' so to speak.

"I don't know her and judging by her tone she doesn't want anything to do with me either! " swallowing hard to keep her voice settle and not to break in front of Tom.

"those can be fixed, Sasha... I am right here with you... if you let me" lifting her head with his index holden her gaze "will you please, let me be here for you and you can go back hating me after we see this through!" genuinely asking hoping shell' let him be there for her.

'ever the gentleman'.

she didn't say anything she knows how much she needs him and she knows he won't leave her in this mess alone.

"is that okay with you? I won't bother you I'll just be there when you need me and this has nothing to do with us I promise. just as a friend Sasha" noticing she is not okay with all of this especially his suggestion then he adds "just to see this through Sasha," she wiped her tears and held his hands to help her get up she didn't agree to any of what he side but she knew him better to know that he won't leave her side even if she refuse his suggestion so she let go. she was too tired to argue with him at that moment.

knock on her door Mike had brought the box to Sasha's room "we checked it's safe to open it"

"are you okay?" Mike asked her after seeing her red eyes.

"yes, I am fine. thank you, Mike," looking briefly at Tom "did she left?"

"no, they are on board!... long story I'll tell all about it later. I'll leave you to it" pointing at the box.

"thank you, Mike" smiling at her friend.

"you want me to stay while you open it?" after seeing her eyes filled with tears. he was not sure what would she say at that moment. She didn't say a word looking at him standing next to her. there is no way in this world he would leave her side looking like that so broking and fragile. not after what he did sixteen months ago.

2 hours later...

Tom sitting on the bed holding her while she was crying her heart out. he put his arm around her shoulders holding her tight letting her know that he is right there and he is not going anywhere.

"I hate him, Tom, I hated him all my life and now... why am I crying him like this! "

holding her head to face him "because your heart is whiter than the snow and bigger than this world, you don't hate him. you are incapable of hate"

"if he knows this much about me why didn't he... I don't know... talk to me! I mean, he was at my high school graduation. he had pictures of me in the academy, Tom, why didn't he tried anything if he cared this much! "

" I don't know Sasha, but, what I know, that this is your chance to know him, to know what kind of man he was. "

" I know exactly what kind he was... the kind who abandoned his daughter" stands up and puts the box on the desk.

"I'll go to see her, to see what is she looks like."

"give her a chance. it's not her fault her dad is a bastard"

" I know" both walking out.

"Tom, thank you"

"always" not looking at each other.

"what do I say to her Tom,? " she was nervous she never had a sibling plus she was a mess at that time and she had no idea how to handle this situation. "you'll figure it out."

standing front of Johanna's room "I can't do this, not now. " the naval intelligence officer never walked into something not prepared "I need time!" and with that, she was gone Tom, didn't want to push her further she's already reached her limits.

five hours later...

Sasha standing at the dick gathering her thoughts when Mike stood next to her she exhaled in relief he wasn't Tom.

"are you okay Sasha?" it's all he could ask not knowing what else he could do to help her or say.

"Honestly, I don't know. I am trying to figure out how to deal with her, what do I say to her! "

"just go sit with her and you'll figure it out" Mike reassured her.

Maik and Tom telling her the same thing that she is more than capable to deal with whatever comes in her way.

after all, she is her sister and with family pond, it's easy to find a connection.

"you'll figure it out" echoing in her head while she walks to her sister room and on her way she bombs into Tom in the B-way "hay, was on my way to check on you? "

"I am going to see Johanna. mmm, I don't know if you... maybe" she was a bit relieved he was there she didn't want to face her sister alone.

"I am coming with you I what to met her too" standing real close to her, " I told you right here whenever you need me" standing at the door Tom give her a minute to regroup and they walked in Tom holding the door for her.

"you have his eyes!" Johanna said. she didn't expect her to look like her dad that much.

"I can say the same about you " Sasha reply was a bit lifeless.

she didn't care about her dad and she only remembered him from pictures her mom had of her when she was a little girl.

"to be clear, I don't want you in my life and I never knew you exist till he was on his deathbed... so with that being said where is Travis? " and why are we being held? did we do something wrong? "

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TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

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Sasha giving Tom a look saying "I told you so",

"your friend is fine we had to make sure that you are not hostile, and no, you didn't do anything wrong... and with that being said" tossing her own words back at her "if you get out of this room you will lose your way so it's better you stay here" Tom informed her.

"fine, whatever, I still want to see Travis," Johanna said in a normal tone being nice to the people who just saved her and her friend's lives.

"you'll see him but, for now, Sasha here wants to chat with you if that's okay" Tom establishing some sort of ground for Sasha to get to know her sister.

"fine, I'll answer whatever you want. I know you have a lot of questions and I know how hard is it for you. I have been in the same place you're in right now" remembering how lonely she felt after her dad's death soon after losing her mother.

"when dad told me about you he said that leaving you was his biggest regret" Johanna stated as a matter of a fact.

 _people tend to say the truth in hard times, and there are no harder times than dying._

"aren't they all" Sasha is mad at her dad for leaving her and even more for not telling her she had a sister he 'owed her that much'. Sasha thought."has he ever tell you why did he DITCH me and my mum?" Sasha choice of words tells a lot about what is she going through.

"no, we really didn't have much time. I was a doctor and had to work to help the sick people who were coming into the hospital in mass numbers. it was hectic we didn't know what we were dealing with at that time"

"you never got sick?" Sasha asked her wondering how she survived.

"no, I never did. I was the only one left in the hospital five months after the whole thing started, I went back home I bared my parents then opened the box dad gave me. I read the letters he left for me explaining all of it. and like I said, I promised him to find you and never be alone"

her dad wrote a lot of letters for her but, never fond the courage to give it to her. he thought she might hate him and leave. he wanted her to know about Sasha's existence but never did.

 **'once a coward forever is'**

"he asked you to find me so you won't be alone! he really loved you" remarking yet again that her dad is a bastard.

"Sasha! he was a good man. a good father who made one mistake. I am not trying to defend him here nor, do I like we both lost a lot of time not knowing each other cause of him. but, I am willing to forgive him and move on God, knows this world is becoming worse by the minute"

Sasha looking at her sister thinking of what she just said and she was right this world is a God, damn 'Hell-hole' and if she wants to get a better life when she gets back to St. Louis she got to let go of her anger and move on at least in one aspect of her life.

"I am not sure that I can forgive him for what he did but, I do want to move on. so let's start with the smallest things." closed lip smile appeared on her face.

"okay I am Johanna, 28 years old, I am a doctor at least I was"

"what do you mean?" narrowing her eyebrows.

"I have been on the run for four years from whatever danger there is. 'the immune war' was scary shit I had to hide in the forest for countless nights till I met Travis, and his team" looking at Tom who was talking to a sailor outside her room then continuous "when I met him they were 12 marines. I told him that I am looking for Naval personnel and he told me that the only place I might find you is Norfolk. so, I backed my things and kept moving wherever they went. they wore helping a lot of people and I treated who needed a medical help. we kept doing that all the way till we reached Norfolk"

"and you find out that I am on the Nathan James?" Sasha wasn't on the James at that time.

"well, not that easy. I spent a lot of time looking in the archives. let's just say it was a nightmare"

"Okay, then what happen how did you find me?"

"Well, two years ago, me and the rest of the Marines we met punch of navy seals we asked about 'Tom Chandler' I remembered dad talked about in the litters that you dated him back in the academy so I thought he might be my last chance of finding you after my 'epic fail' with the Archives. 'never crossed my mind you changed your name' so, we asked around and Travis found out that he was in China. so, we waited for him to come back and when he did the things in the U.S were scary and we decided it's not safe to contact him not at that time. anyways, I couldn't contact him. and I thought I might get lucky with the Nathan James crow so, when we went to meet them they were long gone to find the seeds"

 _she was so close at that point. and never knew she was._

stopped to look at Travis who joined Tom at her door they were talking about something she was not sure of.

"at that point, I had enough. so, I told the team that I am going after, the ship thinking I might get lucky and get hold of them before they get too far. it was a stupid idea and I ended up in the Mid chased by a crazy European guy. and, you know the rest" looking at Sasha who was smiling at who craze her sister is.

"you really are my sister, aren't you?" the two shared their first laugh.

"Sasha, I don't know how this gonna go... but, I didn't mean what I said 'not wanting you in my life' i was trying to protect my self from... I don't know... I didn't know you and still don't but I really want to know you. I mean, you are a freaking naval intelligence I would love to know how 'Bondy' you are."

"Bondy?" Sasha looking confused at her crazy sister who was excited about something.

"you know, Bond, James Bond. so, do tell how good are you? and, I want to meet your husband? Cooper? where is he?" Johanna in all gossiping mood which kind of amused Sasha for a second looking at her sister seeing how innocent she was even after what had happened and all she had seen in the past five years.

"Well, 'I no, James Bond' for a starter. and for Drew, he died soon after our marriage, soon after the pandemic hit"

"sorry to hear that. I am really am" squeeze Sasha's hand.

"it's okay, really... everyone lost someone." standing up to leave knowing deep down that tomorrow is a bit brighter for her.'she's got someone she belonged to' she thought to her self and her eyes drifted briefly towards Tom who was looking back at her.

"are you hungry? we can finish this while eating" starts walking out of the room. "we are going to eat like to join us, Travis? "

"yes, Ma'am I am starving"

Johanna, who was taken away by Tom, handsomeness "will you joining us?" asks him.

"no, I have a lot to do..." noticing the disappointment on her face "rain check?" Johanna's face let up like a little child she nodded at him and walked away.

with only 10 days till they get home...

"dammit thought I won the pet," Johanna said while walking around the ship with Sasha.

"not a chance" proud of himself for winning the pet.

"you two should consider changing the pet it's awful" smiling at the two who have fought over the pet 'the whole day'. biting on how are they going to die.

 _how awful to think this way even if it was for fun._

"don't go soft on me now naval inelegance! and where is your hot boyfriend haven't seen him all day"

"he is not..." stopping knowing it's not worth explaining.

"keep telling your self that... Tray what do you think?" Johanna asking in an amusement tone.

"not participating in this family feud" laughing at their expressions.

"Travis Harper, you did not just say that?" staring at him.

"God, you two are going to drive me crazy I should go get some work done" Sasha having enough of them.

"when you get back you get your boyfriend with you. I want to talk to him" not flinching at Sasha's angry stare.

"stop saying that it's not funny!" she meant it especially for the fact that Johanna didn't know what their history was.

"okay 'got it' but, get him back with you" Sasha looking at her waiting for the magical words "really, how old are we?... "Jeez, fine please, get 'not your boyfriend but, your handsome captain' back with you"

" God," shaking her head "useless" Sasha mumbling to herself leaving them in the mess-hall.

"Tray, you saw what I did..." just like every God, damn sister on this planet 'pine in the behind'.

"I did" Sasha shouting from the door on her way out.

leaving the two laughing their hearts out.

in the conference room...

"Hey, your new admirer is asking for you." a bit annoyed.

"I was on my way to see her, I didn't find her in her room and I thought she might be with you" he is a little bit enjoying her sister admiration and he could see it's bugging Sasha for some reason.

"they were. we had lunch and I took them for a tour" sitting next to Mike.

"I'll go see her after we finish here" Sasha nodded in acceptance then turning her attention to the pile of paper in front of them.

two hours later Sasha, walking in front not wanting to be part of any exchange with him. she is not ready to talk not even to thank him although she wanted to but not at the moment.

Tom looking at the stunning figure walking front of him.a smile appeared on his face unintentionally and he didn't bother her. there was a lot on her plate right now. so he let her be.

"here is your prince charming" pointing at Tom who was few steps behind her.

"Hey, how are you today? you guys having fun?"

"now, that I saw you, much better and, I might sleep better tonight " teasing Travis not knowing someone else is burning.

"you might want to go easy on me. you do know that I am an old man!" Tom told her that looking at Sasha who rolled her eyes.

"you! old man? I give you 30 at most" raising her eyebrow in a playful manner.

Sasha makes a noise in her throat and shakes her head hearing the chipset flirting lines ever existed.

 _it's not logical to be jealous not from Johanna or her cheap lines she keeps throwing_. _but she couldn't help it. it's totally out of her control. they might not be together at the moment but she loves him and it bugs her to see any woman around him and it's not about Jo, it's about any women got in 'touch' with him._

 _ **yes, its still hurts to think of him being with not one but two other women's.**_

"she is all your's. I'll pray for your poor sweet soul "Travis chipping in the conversation.

"don't listen to him he is just jealous" poking his arm just like if they were kids.

"you both in your late 20s and you are acting like teenagers" Sasha's laughing at how childish they are.

"maybe you should try it... it's fun" looking back at Tom with a series look "thank you for saving his ass..." pointing at Travis "and mine we owe you one... both of you" looking at him and Sasha.

"we didn't do anything the crow and Mike are the ones you should be thanking "Tom informed her in a caring tone.

"I know and I will. God, knows what might have had happened to us if you guys weren't there for us"

"Hey, don't go soft on me Dr. you guys are tough I am sure you might have figured it out" Sasha tossing back her own words back at her.

"she is right to thank you. we have been on our own for so long it's nice to know we have people how would do anything for us" Travis sincerely thanking them.

"you are welcome, you guys need anything? " Tom asked them to make sure they are good.

Sasha gave him a look and a smile. she knows this caring side of hem is one of the reasons she fell for him.

"yes, I actually need something" Travis shook his head knowing she is about to be lamer than she could ever be "is there a way to convince you to consider 'us' i mean you&me?"

Tom laughing at her constant flirtation with him "no, there will be no us, but I have to give it your consistent".

knowing she is just messing around he actually liked it. it's kind of amusing given the world they have lived in the bast five years, tragic, sorrowful and full of hatred. so, it was nice to see some people still being them selfs.

Sasha, however, she is not enjoying any of it.

"is it because of her, she doesn't want you, and I have her eyes" looking at him with puppy eyes.

"Jesus, will she ever stop?" mumbling to herself.

Travis heard her "not really no"laughing and looking at Jo who acted innocently.

"I am glad you guys are having a bit of fun we don't have much of it on this ship, I have to go. a lot of paperwork waiting for me" it's more about not wanting to annoy Sasha with his being around all day.

"you just broke my heart" putting a sad face trying to make him stay a bit longer.

"that was the cheapest thing I have ever heard" Sasha is annoyed.

"you might have to work on hiding your jealousy a bit more Sasha," running away from Sasha hiding behind Travis.

"stop it, and besides I have already, saw him naked" damn savage from her and totally out of character but Sasha was a rollercoaster of emotions so, you don't expect her to be her self all the time.

"ohhohoooo, snap, that was savage" Travis enjoyed that so much. he was getting teased for so long that he was not going to let this slide under the rug.

Jo, gave him a look to shut him up "really, now that you are the one being trolled you didn't like it?" Travis is hitting every button she got.

"haha, it's not even funny" rolling her eyes knowing he was right she got no right to be annoyed.

walking out on the dick the three of them were laughing and acting like if they have known each other for years then Johanna looked at Sasha leaning on the rail "Sasha, all I know is few things dad told me and the things you have told me the past two days. and, I don't want to cross any lines here but, a blind person would see and feel the tension when you guys around each other you can shut me up if I crossed any lines here" Travis was talking to a sailor on the other side of the dick and Johanna knew it was a chance to get to know her sister. especially 'this thing' with Tom. a thing she felt and saw the bast two days.

"it's a long 'very long' story and now isn't the time to talk about it" giving where they were and the fact that Sasha didn't want to talk about it. "all I can tell you is that we had a past, and it didn't end well both times" looking at her shoes.

and Jo could see how upset Sasha had become.

"that's fine and I am sorry, to bring it up. I just want to know were my grounds are! you know?" Sasha nodded understanding exactly, what Jo meant.

"no, Jo its fine will talk later. not here!" looking around on the dick and at the sailors just to make her understand.

a few hours later Sasha was sitting on the lower bunk in her sister cabin. while Johanna was sitting on the chair.

"wow, you two are something!" she was shocked. she had no words 'not, yet at least'.

"and he just got back on the ship three months ago so it's a lot to deal with at the moment" Sasha continued.

"that clears a lot of things" in a serious manner.

"look! me and Tom uh... it is really complicated to explain but I don't want you to be any different with him..." Jo gave her a look teasing her about all that flirtation thing she has been doing "maybe less cheap talk!" smiling knowing that her sister made her out.

"may I ask you something?" Johanna knows exactly where the red lines are yet, willing to cross them.

"sure," Sasha nodded.

"do you really know if he ever loved you? for me if he did he won't leave like that!" she wanted to see if questioning Tom would bother Sasha.

"Jo, have you heard anything I have said the last one and half hour?" obviously, Jo, hit a raw nerve.

"so you are sure he loved you..." Sasha cutting her of "he still does." defensively stating a fact.

"then why the Hell, are you tutoring your self and him because of the bast... Sasha, look at me, |The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence| I have always believed in this Sasha, whatever it is it's gone. it happened. he can't take it back nor you can...Sasha, you got to let go of it"

"I know!..." lowering her eyes looking at her feet "but 'I lost my baby because of him' and I am not sure I can forgive him... and right now I am a mess and I don't want to pull him down to this dark hole I am living in" Sasha was on the verge of breaking in tears. she wanted to move on to be happy but there was way too much to fix before even thinking of starting anything with Tom, again.

"Sasha, it was a miscarriage. don't be so hard on both of you. you two deserve happiness and I know you'll get there one day"


	5. Chapter 5

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 **A/n: was sick while writing this so please excuse my mistakes.**

 **A/n:#2** **tmtcltb** **thank you so much hope you liked it.**

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Tom, working late when Sasha, knocked on his door.

the women he is 'head over heels' in love with just walked in and His eyes light up.

he stepped out of his chair to face her.

"Everything alright?" He asked.

"sorry... Ah, you still working!" she was nervous and Tom could see it.

"yeah, agony" he flips his eyes "what is it, Sasha?" He knows she is not there for small talk.

"it's... Ah, it's this... never mind!" turning back to leave.

"hey...wite" he grabbed her arm "you are here now, just tell me" Tom insisted on knowing what brought her to his room. He wasn't going to let her get off the hook that easy.

"I HATE this room" drawing her arm out of his hand leaving the room upset. Tom follows her stopping her to look at him so he could understand what all this about.

"I will always regret that night Tom," avoiding his gaze.

"you didn't come here to say that... What is it, Sasha?"

"not here" when two sailors past them.

"your cabin then."He was determinant to know what was on her mind.

They walked in silence all the way to her cabin.

"what is it? Sasha,"He couldn't believe she wanted to talk and he would never waste an opportunity to do so.

 _||it's not your fault for hurting me. It is mine for thinking you wouldn't||_

she thought of saying that but she didn't want to hurt him any further.

He is already broken and damaged. They both were.

the horrible life they lived the past five years casting its shadows on them IT changed them. the Tom she used to know ages ago would never do what he did 19 months ago. and now the shadow of a man standing in front of her, fuzz beard long curled hair oversized t-shirt is definitely not her mighty Tom.

"I can't forgive you, Tom, and I am not saying that I want you back... but, the possibility that I might lose you tomorrow" pausing to gather her thoughts "I don't want any extra regrets added to the list that I have... What I want to say is **I love you still**... but, I don't want you! not now" leaning on the wall behind her, looking down her hair tangled around her face.

"Sasha... you didn't have to do this!" stunned by this sudden move from her.

They were going home and may not be able to see each other for some time.

it was as if she is marking her territory.

"I know but I needed too," trying her best not to catch his gaze.

"Tom, I have said what I want you to know. So please just leave!" for a woman like Sasha, telling him that was hard.

she stepped on her ego and pride to make sure he knew she is trying and she still wants him. BUT she needed time.

"thank you, Sasha, I needed to hear that from you" he never thought she will ever talk to him again let alone to say that she loves him word for word and actually means it.

"I never meant to hurt you, Sasha, we both lost a lot, I know your pain. you are not the only one who lost that baby it hurts and I know how much" Tom said while standing at the door.

Listening to him say that made her loosing up a bit but not much.

"I needed you, Tom, I hoped you'll walk back to this ship just for me... The only reason you are here is Mike. Don't you dare to deny that..." looking straight into his eyes, not giving him a chance to lie "just tell me one thing, Would you ever come back for me?"

"I never lied to you and, I am not starting now. I don't know if I would have Sasha, but what I know is that I want you now more than anything in this world"

He said the truth he was willing to live with her lose than to drag her to his world. He knew if he went back for her she will end up hating him for what he had become. 'Or worse she hates herself, for not being able to help him'. Besides, he would never put all of what he was going through on her shoulders. not her, not his Sasha, he kissed her goodbye to keep her alive inside of him ' _not that she ever faded away_ ' but he needed to taste, smell, touch her one last time. he spent the night with her adding one extra memory of her to be his comfort for a lifetime.

 _He never thought he'll ever see her again but fate had other plans for them._

"leave" that did it for her hearing him say he wouldn't have come back for her made it hard to bear looking at him.

Though, in a matter of a fact, she would be angrier if he lied. so, she was not going to take it all at him, for being honest.

" Sasha..."

"Please, will talk later" Tom left just like he promised he won't bother her so he just left. He could see how upset she had become.

sitting on her bed looking up to the ceiling "when the Hell, I am going to stop crying and be happy" like if she was hoping that the same fate that brought them back together might have a plan for them to be happy.

After this night Sasha did her best to avoid being in the same place that he is. If they were not on the bridge there is no way they will be anywhere in sight of each other.

"You two talk? You guys acting weird?" Jo asked while goofing around in Sasha's room playing with her stuff.

"we did and I don't want to talk about it" trying to focus on packing or maybe focusing on anything not related to her 'sorrowful life'.

"Okay, it's just there is only one day left, just so you know"

"I know and I don't need you to remind me of that... Hold this"

"so what happens next?" she was curious about them and she wanted to know how did the 'talk' go.

"concerning?... put it here... thank you"

"come on, naval Intelligence you know what?"

"Actually, I don't"

"Okay, you and Tom?"

"I thought doctors are smart?"

"Sasha, come on!"

"TIME and that is what I asked for. Now, stop talking and help me pack"

"did you really tell him that?"

"God, stop talking or leave" losing her calm manner with all the questions.

"fine, it's your happiness your messing with... Where do I put this" Sasha's finally finding something to distract herself from Tom but Jo was not willing to let go.

 _the Last night on the ship..._

everyone on the ship can't wait to see their loved ones and, the vibes never been brighter.

Tom saw her sitting with Jo and Travis and, he just walked past them as if he didn't see them.

he didn't want to upset her, not after what he said the last time they talked.

She saw him called his name but, he did not respond to her he didn't want 'nice and go with it kind of relationship'.

 ** _Maybe...!_**

she knew he heard her. and that irritated her like a pine in her throat.

she kept calm and sit with them pretending to be calm -while the inside of her was like a volcano about to explode-

yet, again she is not herself. the badass old Sasha wouldn't reck at an act like that. Hell, she wouldn't need to call him to sit with them. because, where she is, is where he belonged 19 months ago.

"you two are annoying, I'll be back" she left them and they kept fighting over whatever they were fighting over. Jo and Travis are the most annoying family members Sasha ever had. Talking all the time, never stop teasing one another for the stupidest thing.

"You heard me, I know you did!" burst into his room.

"I did and I don't have time for 'fake' small talk"

She did not speak to him for nine days! she had no right to be mad but the smallest thing related to him irritates her.

at this moment he is the one who has the right to be mad. He is not a toy she plays with whenever she wants'. Just because she decided it is okay to talk, sit with her does not mean he has to obey her...

 ** _or maybe..._**

"fake talk! Really Tom," she thought he was being childish.

"why you called me" still not looking at her and behaving strangely.

"nothing, never mind it's my fault" she was mad all she wanted is to have 'a nice last night' on the James but, apparently he has other plans.

She was just outside his room when he said something made her get right, back in...

"I am leaving Sasha!" stopping whatever was he doing looking at her.

she was on fire "where to this time?" mad as hell mimicking him her voice was flat and emotionless.

Just the way he stated his confession.

"I don't know... I have lost you... my kids need me. I cannot be half a dad for them they deserve better"

"FINE. remember you are the one who chose this!" she had enough. she reached her limit.

"I didn't you did" Tom was acting like if he wanted to make her angrier 'if that even possible'.

"what? When?" arching her eyebrows "I wasn't there when I chose that!" she is on the verge of kicking his ass at this stage. she was steaming.

"I will wait for you all my life when you are ready, I will be all in... But, now I want to focus on my kids" Tom trying to be as calm as he could. He knows she is beyond mad and he wanted to stop their conversation before any of them hurts the other 'physically in Sasha's case'.

"don't let me hold you back... Oh, wait I never did. You know what Tom, you are an asshole" she was a flame her hands formed tight fests she wanted to hurt him. Hell, she wanted to kill him.

Tom knew what an ass he was but he had to...

Sasha walks out slamming the door behind her.

"...This better ends well "Tom running out of his cabin towards the mess hall.

She was in her room agitated, beyond furious. Aching to smash something.

30 minutes later she was a bit calmer but hadn't left her room.

"Sasha, hurry it's Travis" Miller knocking on her door.

"what... What happened?" But Miller was long gone to answer.

she runs after him to the mess hall to find everyone standing looking at something in front of them...

finds her way in...

everyone starts singing 'happy birthday' she had no idea what was going on she was shaking and out of breath.

The minute she comprehends what is going on, she was blushing not knowing what to say to them.

Jo hugs and sings for her. They took turns congratulating her.

till it's Tom's "you're with them? I wanted to kill you!" smiling knowing 'leaving' drama was a lie.

Tom hugs her and whispers in her ear "I believe that ...and You won't get rid of me that easy, never again" kisses her cheek and wishes her a happy birthday.

She was so overwhelmed with all what was going on the cake and the love she received from all of them.

She found herself so happy in that moment;

she had forgotten how to be happy.

With her sister next to her and the man, she loves in front of her. She realized how much she wants this.

 _She wants her Perfect life with the perfect people._

Late that night everyone; is tired, exhausted from the party 'well semi-party' there wasn't much to celebrate with.

Tom walks next to her and asked her for one last dance... he was nervous not to push his luck. However, God knows how much he hoped.

It took her a bit of encouragement from Jo, to enjoy her night,

"he wants to celebrate you. Now go!" in an undertone.

"fine, one dance!"

"one last dance won't be so bad, it's my birthday after all," she tells her self.

she was a lot looser than he had seen her since he came back.

also, she looked like if she finally found solid footing to stand on.

He took her hand to the dance floor dancing slowly like if it just the two of them left in this world.

"you really should smile more often" she was so beautiful and, he couldn't resist.

"shut up" with a smile on her face. She wanted to savor all the love he offered her in that dance.

 _Every whisper every touch._

They both did not want it to come to an end. They danced for so long not noticing that everyone had already, left.

 _They were in their own world. Damn, how amazingly good that world is._

It was their little 'heaven'. Everything felt incredibly right. how their bodies perfectly matched one another her hand on his heart, head leaning on his shoulder. His hand tight on her back. It felt like home their bodies' found peace and felt safe in each other embrace.

As if every organ in their bodies, become whole by the other ones.

One heart needed the other to sound a beautiful rhythm, a breath with a breath dancing in the air. a finger finding a mate to belong.

"I missed this, all of this... Being happy, dancing, laughing over stupid things... all of this..." breaking the peaceful silence.

Pulling out off his hands looking at him, "will we ever be happy like this, Tom?"

"we will. Just the way we managed to be happy tonight, we will find a way I promise" Pulls her back into his embrace "I will never give up on us"

"sorry for what I said earlier..."

"I deserved it. Actually, Jo deserved it. She was the one behind it" smiling and placing a kiss on her hair.

she hugs him tight before letting go.

"we should get some sleep tomorrow is going to be a long day.." and she walked away.

She was a hell of a mess. Confused or maybe she was complicating things cause of her ego. However, all she knew that moment that she had to run away before she loses herself to him.

He followed her. She was on her way to see Jo.

Tom's, quarters were in the direction she was headed. Therefore, they both kept walking and sharing small talk about nothing really.

Reaching his room, she stopped briefly to say goodnight as he stood at the door.

Leaving the door wide open like if, he was silently telling her she is always welcome in his place.

"Alright, I'll check on, Jo,... Good night Tom" there was excessively much she wanted to say but all she could say was these words. They were safe; she wanted him and the longer she is with him the harder the battle is.

on the other hand, he was hoping that she would lose that battle and just let go. He wanted her right there right at that moment. She was the most beautiful women in this world and she was his ' _well, not yet'_ but she was his and he cannot kiss, touch, feel her and that drove him insane.

"Good night beautiful, and happy birthday once more" lean and kisses her cheek, he took his time taking in her scent. the feeling of being so close to her was like if he stepped into a magnetic field. "I hope you won't keep me waiting for too long, I love you." Moves back and fix a stray hear out of her face "sleep well"

I took her a Hell, of willpower not to give in. she takes a step back and walks away with a beautiful smile on her face.

not for long tho, she turns back and knocks on his door. He opens the door and, she walked in.

 _it was her night she was so happy but, something was missing!_

 _and He deserved one thing that night!_

 _it's a win-win kind of situation._

"you okay?" he was confused. Nevertheless, deep down, he hoped that she made her mind about them.

She took two quick steps pressing her lips to his. She grasps his hands, so it won't wander over her body. Which will make her lose control. pressing hard not giving him a chance to deepen the kiss more than she can handle.

a kiss filled with promises, ' **I belong to you, and you are mine sailor** '.

Pulling away she didn't let his hands go or stepped back. She leans her forehead on to his for few seconds then she walked out.

with no words, she showed him that he is not the only one who wants this. it made him happier to see her like that willing to do that. giving him something to hang on to.

 _She is his and he won't lose her again!_

He watched her walk away until she was no longer in sight. Not knowing when will he ever see her again or talk.

-déjà vu-

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.

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TBC...


End file.
